Where
I Found Love
Inspired
by ‘We Found Love’ by Rihanna
and
Related Conversations
I
was listening to the radio one night and the host began a segment of the show
listing some of the most common misunderstood lyrics. Afterwards, he shared
some lyrics he misinterpreted from a current song on the airwaves today. His
version of the lyrics are “We found love in a homeless place …”, the real
lyrics to the Rihanna song are “We found love in a hopeless place …”. His 12
and 15 year old daughters still tease him about it.
I
found both versions to be intriguing as to where love actually is, how I define
it and how I know if I am feeling it or not – having love or not. Most times,
in my own life, I feel love for most everyone or at least I want to. I’m
working on that to improve it to loving everyone. But, one of the hardest
things I struggle with is the love for myself. In love, we are to be
compassionate and tolerant, patient and eternal, unconditional - without
limits. But, these are all the things I don’t have for myself in any way or I twist
them to make it right for myself. The result is that it never works and I wind
up hating myself intensely for any variety of reasons.
Going
through an old folder, I came across a handout entitled ‘Common Self Defeating
Beliefs’ that also included some affirmations on the following pages. There
were a few self-defeating beliefs about love that I identified with, but, one
stuck out: highlighted in yellow
4. Approval Addiction: I need everyone’s
approval to be worthwhile
5. Love Addiction: I can’t feel happy
and fulfilled without being loved.
If I am not loved then life is not worth living.
6.
Fear of Rejection: If you reject me, it proves that there is something wrong
with me. If I am alone, I’m bound to feel
miserable and worthless.
7. I love and
accept myself the way I am.
8. I deserve
good things in life as much as anyone else.
16. I am learning to love myself.
17. I am
learning to be more comfortable with myself.
18. If someone does not return my love, I let it go and
move on.
36. When I love and care for myself, I am best able to be
generous to others.
4. Our ability to share intimacy will grow inside us.
8. We will choose to love people who can love and be
responsible for themselves.
9. Healthy boundaries and limits will become easier for
us to set.
Finally,
as I was preparing this, my co-pilot whispered to me:
Remember,
when
darkness falls
and
you have slipped
into
the deepest hallows of tonight,
look
up to the evening sky
and
know
that
when you see the glimmer
of
the stars above,
there
is hope where there is light.
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